Oh Wow! A remarkably simple way to clean your computer screen!

By: Nicolas Laube On: 4:43 AM
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  • Did you know that every 30 days it is necessary to clean the computer screen from the inside? Many people ignore this fact and do not know how.

    Manufacturers take advantage of this ignorance to increase their sales.

    My IT guy shared this and said feel free to share this utility with my contacts.

    To clean the screen from the inside, just click this link: http://lingdao.fr/outils/nettoyeurecran/cleanscreen.swf

    A Message From The Sex Fairy

    By: Nicolas Laube On: 4:41 AM
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  • 1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, making hair shine and skin smooth.
    2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes.  The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.
    3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.
    4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches  and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming  20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers !
    5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.
    6. The more sex you have,  the more you will be offered.
    The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones.  These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy !
    7. Sex is the safest tranquillizer in the world.
    It is ten times more effective than Valium
    8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away.
    Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.
    9. Sex actually relieves headaches.  A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.
    10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose.
    Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever. 


    By: Nicolas Laube On: 4:35 AM
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  • Funny Joke About The Name Carmen (adult)

    By: Nicolas Laube On: 4:33 AM
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  • A woman scanned the guests at a party and spotted an attractive man standing alone.

    She approached him. "My name is Carmen," she told him. That's a beautiful name," he said. "Is it a family name?"
    No," she replied. "I gave it to myself. It reflects the things I like most - cars and men."

    "What's your name?" she asked.

    "Beertits" he replied.

    It's In The Bible - A Funny Joke

    By: Nicolas Laube On: 8:33 AM
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  • An out-of-towner becomes friendly with Thelma, the waitress
    in his hotel coffee shop, and invites her up to his room.

    She is indignant.

    The guy says, "Don't get excited. This is all in the Bible."

    Thelma is appeased, and after her shift they go out and have
    a few drinks. Again the man invites her up to his room, and
    again she is angry.

    The man explains, "It's in the Bible."

    An hour later they're in the guy's hotel room and he suggests
    They undress and have some fun. He assures Thelma that it isn't sinful since it's in the Bible.

    "Where?" she says. "Where does it say that?"

    Taking the Bible from the hotel nightstand, he opens it to
    the front cover where someone has written,
    "Thelma the waitress is a great lay."

    Man's Ultimate Emarrassment

    By: Nicolas Laube On: 8:32 AM
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  • Thought of the day from Maxine's sister!  
    What is man's Ultimate embarrassment?


    Running into a wall with an erection and breaking his nose.

    Close your eyes... And go back...

    By: Nicolas Laube On: 3:53 AM
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    ...Before the Internet or PC or the MAC...
    ...Before semi-automatics and crack...
    ...Before Playstation, SEGA, Super Nintendo, even before Atari...
    ...Before cell phones, CD's, DVD's, voicemail and e-mail...
    ...way back...
    ...way... way... way back...
    I'm talkin' bout hide and seek at dusk
    Red light, Green light
    Red Rover... Red Rover...
    Playing kickball & dodgeball until the first ...no... second... no... third streetlight came on
    Ring around the Rosie
    London Bridge
    Hot potato
    Hop Scotch
    Jump rope
    Duck... duck... GOOSE!!!
    YOU'RE IT!!
    Parents stood on the front porch and yelled (or whistled) for you to come home - no pagers or cell phones
    Mother May I?
    Hula Hoops
    Seeing shapes in the clouds
    Endless summer days and hot summer nights (no A/C) with the windows open
    The sound of crickets
    Running through the sprinkler
    Happy Meals
    Cereal boxes with that GREAT prize in the bottom
    Cracker jacks with the same thing
    Ice pops with 2 sticks you could break and share with a friend
    ....but wait... there's more...
    Watchin' Saturday Morning cartoons
    Fat Albert, Road Runner, Smurfs, Picture Pages, G-Force & He-Man,
    Schoolhouse Rock
    Watchin' Sunday morning oldies (Abbott & Costello, Three Stooges)
    Wonder Woman & Super Man Underoos
    Playing Dukes of Hazard
    Catchin' lightning bugs in a jar
    Christmas morning
    Your first day of school
    Bedtime Prayers and Goodnight Kisses
    Climbing trees
    Swinging as high as you could to try and reach the sky
    Getting an Ice Cream off the Good Humor Truck
    A million mosquito bites and sticky fingers
    Jumpin' down the steps
    Jumpin' on the bed
    Pillow fights
    A 13" black and white TV in your room meant you were RICH
    Runnin' till you were out of breath
    Laughing so hard that your stomach hurt
    Being tired from PLAYING
    WORK: meant taking out the garbage or doing the dishes
    Your first crush
    Your first kiss (I mean the one that you kept your mouth CLOSED and your eyes OPEN
    Rainy days at school meant playing "Heads up 7UP" or hangman" in The classroom, Remember that?
    Oh, I'm not finished yet...
    Kool-Aid was the drink of the summer
    So was a swig from the hose
    Giving your friends a ride on your handlebars
    Wearing your new shoes on the first day of school
    Class Field Trips with soggy sandwiches
    When nearly everyone's mom was at home when the kids got there
    When a quarter seemed like a fair allowance; and another quarter a MIRACLE
    When ANY parent could discipline ANY kid, or feed him, or use him to carry groceries...And nobody, not even the kid, thought a thing of it.
    When your parents took you to McDonalds and you were COOL
    When being sent to the principal's office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited you at home.
    Basically, we were in fear for our lives but it wasn't because of drive by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc.
    Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat! And some of us are still afraid of em!
    Didn't that feel good? Just to go back and say, "Yeah, I remember that!"
    Well, let's keep going!!
    Let's go back to the time when...
    Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-mo"
    Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "do over!"
    Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in "monopoly"
    Catching fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening
    It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends.
    Being old, referred to anyone over 20. (CRAP! I'm officially old!)
    The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was cooties.
    Nobody was prettier than Mom
    Scrapes and bruises were kissed by mom or grandma and made better
    It was a big deal to finally be tall enough to ride the "big people" rides at the amusement park.
    Getting a foot of snow was a dream come true.
    Abilities were discovered because of a "double-dog-dare"
    Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was cause for giggles.
    The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team.
    Water balloons were the ultimate, ultimate weapon.
    Older siblings were your worst tormentors, but also your fiercest protector
    If you can remember most or all of these, then you have LIVED!!!
    Pass this on to anyone who may need a break from their "grown up" life... I TRIPLE DOG DARE YA!!!!!!

    House of Deer

    By: Nicolas Laube On: 11:31 AM
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  • House of Deer -- you may have to wait a few seconds for the pictures but they are amazing. These photos come from a family who lives on the Olympic Peninsula in the area of west of Brinnon, Washington.

    Eva in the pyramid

    Our house was built in the deer's natural habitat in a remote rural area. Well, worn deer trails cut through the property's abundant pine and sage. The oldest deer we've met (we call her Mama Rose) walked right up to us when we first arrived, sniffing and looking us over. Rose smelled some almonds in my pocket so I gave her a few. We gave some almonds to her family a few other times but stopped the practice when advised that feeding deer is illegal. Even so, that didn't stop them from regular visits. Rose and her kin obviously think the yard belongs to them as much as anyone else, and they are just taking advantage of the wealth of natural foods growing everywhere. They especially like clover flowers, but it's amazing to see the variety of tasty flowers, leaves, twigs, nuts and berries they'll eat. They stay away from herbs and herbal flowers, but on occasion we've seen young deer eating the sweet medicinal berries of the Juniper tree. Food is of course a major concern, but we also think they visit because they like our company. Often we see deer we don't know nibbling in the yard, but nearly everyday some or many of Rose's extended family come by. All of the deer are likely to lay down on the grass and hang out, whether we know them well or not. Many of them know us personally, and while often running into the yard to greet us with their quiet enthusiasm, they will also swiftly shy away from strangers. Although notoriously skittish, able to leap meters in the air in an instant when startled, a few deer we know, most notably Eva and her kids, will let us touch them as if we were family, letting us scratch them or pick something out of their fur. Eva even enjoys a hearty back rub! We've certainly learned a lot about how to act around them so as not to disturb them. We think they appreciate our efforts in fitting into their neighborhood.

    Freddy with his first big antlers

    Marlis in the back yard with nine deer from Mama Rose's family 

    Mama Rose, the matriarch -- she taught us "the way of the deer". In winter 2005 she disappeared, passing her throne on to Lisa. 

    Lisa explaining the situation to Rasa 


    Marlis hanging out with Lisa

      Two women sharing a secret

     Rasa with Eva and her kids

     Freddy eating clover flowers

    Rasa explaining the situation to Rosie

    Lisa and Eva looking up to the balcony

    Young Ram with Marlis

    Rasa giving Charlotta a third eye massage
    (when he was very young we thought this guy was female,
    But when his velvet antler brow first began to appear, and we realized our mistake, we decided to leave him as a buck named Charlotta)
    Lisa ringing the front door bell with her nose
     Could be any afternoon they drop by 

    Talking business
    Mama Rose on the balcony 

    Young Ram practices the nose ritual with Rasa
     Well, come right in . .
    So cute!

    A Couple of Groaners

    By: Nicolas Laube On: 3:22 AM
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  • A man decides to take the opportunity while his wife is
    away to paint the toilet seat. The wife comes home sooner than
    expected, sits, & gets the seat stuck to her rear. She is understandably distraught about this asks her husband to drive her to the doctor.
    She puts on a large overcoat so as to cover the stuck seat, and off they go.
    When they get to the doctor's, the man lifts his wife's coat to show their predicament. The man asks,

    "Doctor, have you ever seen anything like this before?"

    "Well, yes," the doctor replies, "but never framed."

    Father Murphy was playing golf with a parishioner.
    On the first hole, he sliced into the rough. His opponent
    heard him mutter, "Hoover!" under his breath.

    On the second hole, the ball went straight into a water hazard.
    "Hoover!" again, a little louder this time.

    On the third hole, a miracle occurred & Fr. Murphy's drive landed on the green only six inches from the hole! "Praise be to God!"

    He carefully lined up the putt, but the ball curved around the hole instead of going in. "HOOVER!!!!"

    By this time, his opponent couldn't withhold his curiosity any longer, &asked why the priest said "Hoover".

    "It's the biggest dam I know."

    "Intelligence-challenged people"

    By: Nicolas Laube On: 3:16 AM
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  • 45 year-old Amy Brasher was arrested in San Antonio, Texas,
    after a mechanic reported to police that 18 packages of
    marijuana were packed in the engine compartment of the car
    which she had brought to the mechanic for an oil change.
    According to police, Brasher later said that she didn't realize
    that the mechanic would have to raise the hood to change the

    Portsmouth, R. I. Police charged Gregory Rosa, 25, with a
    string of vending machine robberies in January when he:
    1. fled from police inexplicably when they spotted him
    loitering around a vending machine and  2 .later tried to post his $400 bail in coins.

    Karen Lee Joachimi, 20, was arrested in Lake City, Florida, for
    robbery of a Howard Johnson's motel. She was armed with only an electric chain saw, which was not plugged in.

    The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 7:50 am, flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.


    In case you've forgotten about the 1995 awardees, some of them are listed below:

    * Bowling Green, Ohio, student Robert Ricketts, 19, had his
    head bloodied when he was struck by a Conrail train. He told
    police he was trying to see how close to the moving train he
    could place his head without getting hit.

    * In Wesley Chapel, Florida, Joseph Aaron, 20, was hit in the
    leg with pieces of the bullet he fired at the exhaust pipe of
    his car. When repairing the car, he needed to bore a hole in
    the pipe. When he couldn't find a drill, he tried to shoot a
    hole in it.