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Friday's LOL Jokes

By: Nicolas Laube On: 7:59 AM
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  • Joke # 1

    There are two sides to every argument, but I don't have
    time to listen to yours.

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    Joke # 2

    Had it all

    A man was complaining to a friend, "I had it all -
    money, a magnificent house, a fast car, the love of a
    beautiful woman...then, poof! It was all gone!"

    "What happened?" asked the friend.

    "My wife found out..."

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    Q: What do a farmer and a pimp have in common?
    A: Both need a hoe to stay in business.

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    Joke # 3

    Tired

    The new patient was airing his woes to an understanding
    doctor:

    "After the first, I'm tired, Doc. After the second, my
    chest aches and I start getting pains in my legs. After
    the third, I feel like fainting and it takes half-an-
    hour for my heart and respiration to return to normal."

    "Why don't you quit after the first?" inquired the doctor.
    "How can I do that, Doc?" said the patient. "I live on
    the third."

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    Joke # 4

    Blonde Education Department

    The Blondes at the university were tired of not fitting
    in. They were tired of other students assuming they were
    just stupid bimbos. They wanted somewhere where they felt
    they belonged.

    So they pressured the administration to set up a new
    Department especially for them. The university agreed,
    and set up the Blonde Education Department.

    The Blondes were ecstatic to have a department of their
    own where they could gather without being ridiculed. They
    felt they really belonged now. They wanted other students
    to see that they weren't just stupid bimbos after all,
    they now had their own department at the university.

    So they now all proudly wear the official sweatshirt of
    the Blonde Education Department which sports the saying:
    "I Belong in B.E.D."

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    Joke # 5

    Friends

    A couple has a male friend who's visiting from out-of-
    state, when an unexpected blizzard blows in, and keeps
    him from traveling.

    Since the couple has no guest room, he states his
    intention to find a nearby hotel, and be on his way in
    the morning.

    "Nonsense," says the wife. "Our bed is plenty big enough
    for all three of us, and we're all friends here."

    The husband concurs, and before long they're settled in:
    husband in the middle, wife on his left, friend on his
    right.

    After a while, the husband begins snoring, and the wife
    sneaks over to the friend's side of the bed, and invites
    him to have sex with her.

    Naturally, he'd like to, but he's reluctant.

    "We're in the same bed with your husband! He'll wake up,
    and he'll kill me."

    "Don't worry about it," she says, "he's such a sound
    sleeper, he'll never notice. If you don't believe me,
    just yank a hair off of his butt. He won't even wake
    up."

    So the friend yanks a hair off the husband's anus, and
    sure enough, she's right.

    Her husband sleeps right through having a hair yanked out
    of his butt.

    So, she and the friend have sex, and then she goes back
    to her side of the bed.

    After about twenty minutes, though, she's back on his
    side of the bed, asking him to do it again.

    The same argument follows, another hair is yanked from
    the husband's corn hole, and again they have sex.

    This keeps up for about half the night, until after about
    the sixth time, when the wife goes back to her side.

    Then the husband rolls over, and whispers to his friend,
    "I don't mind that you're fu**ing my wife, but do you
    really have to use my butthole as your scoreboard?"

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    Q: Did you hear about the couple who both achieved
    mutual sexual satisfaction at the very same moment?
    A: They both said, "Not tonight, I have a headache."

    11 comments:

    1. These are quite harsh but really funny.

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    2. These are definitely entertaining!!

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    3. I think they're trying out for the "Groaner of the Week" award... lol!

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    4. The first one is a conversation stopper for sure!

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    5. Lol, harsh, but funny nonetheless!

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    6. The one with the Blonde Education Department is really funny. Lol.

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    7. I really laughed at all of these...they were all good.

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